Too Much of A Good Thing
by Fabius Maximus
Summary: In which we learn that some foes require...special handling.


_Too much of a good thing

* * *

_

Shego blinked. "Kim?" She said, dodging back as the (former) teen heroine dove down and sent her back in a flurry of kicks and blows. "I thought you retired!"

"Oh, I bet you did." Her nemesis (former teen, now in her late twenties), said, spinning around. "That's why you're here right now, stealing…" She paused, "What are you stealing?"

"Did your techno nerd tell you?" Kim looked embarrassed. In fact, she looked frazzled…and that was vaguely familiar.

"Ah, well, see, the plea bargain Wade made with the court for hacking into the IRS and giving everyone a two million dollar refund is keeping him off the internet…" Shego blinked.

"How's he doing?"

"Um…. He stopped crying a week ago."

"How long was that after the plea bargain?"

"Four years. He's doing much better now. Hasn't talked about killing the planet in oh, hours!" Kim said, spinning back. "And don't change the subject—what are you doing here!"

"Doy!" Shego said, "Stealing something."

"Well…what!" Kim said in some frustration.

"Drakken wants a new server system, so he sent me out to steal it."

"Can't he buy it?"

"Kimmie… hello! Villain, remember?"

"You buy stuff from Smarty Mart." Kim pointed out.

"That's below my radar…" Shego paused and reddened. "And the last time I did try and steal something, the 85 year old security guard they had there nearly dropped dead hobbling after me. Had to do CPR for nearly five minutes."

"Oh, well this fight will-" She paused, as Shego stopped. "What are you doing?"

"Surrendering." Shego said, and shrugged. "I have a party to go to, and I'd much rather break out of jail than risk-" She paused, and blinked as Kim grabbed her by the front of her jump suit, eyes brimming. "WHAT are you _doing?"_

"You can't stop fighting! We have to fight, and then you have to run, so I can chase you! _Please? If you surrender I have to go back now!_"

"Kimmie…you're getting freaky, like all those fanfics where for some reason beyond sanity we're actually madly in love." She blinked. "That _isn't_ the case, is it? You're still hetero, right?" Kim started giggling, louder and louder until Shego put a hand over her mouth. "OKAY! I get it, you're practicing your crazed laugh."

"You would too…" Kim said, "I'm hetero, so is Ron…and he has a power, and you know what that power is?"

"No."

"It has to do with why I've been retired… I've been pregnant three times, the last two because no spermicide, pill, or condom seems to work one hundred percent with him…"

"Ew, Too much info, Kimmie." Shego paused, "So, you have three kids?" Another hysterical laugh came.

"No! My first pregnancy was identical girl triplets… my second was quadruplets—fraternal, and my last was another set of triplets." Shego paused, stopped and thought.

_X3+4+3_

_X7+3_

_X10_

_X**10?**_

"Ten…you've got _ten_ kids? How do you afford them?"

"We're rich…between Ron's naco royalties, and my work…" Kim paused, "But I have three six year olds, four four year olds, and three two year olds…" She paused, "Do you know how long it took me to get back into shape? Do you know what _ten_ children are like?" Shego blinked. _That_ was what Kim reminded her of—her own mom…when her five children had driven her half way insane.

Kim had twice that number, and now that she was looking, she could see that Kim was more than halfway there.

"What about Ron?"

"He loves them… I love them…" Kim said, still hanging onto Shego. "But…but… They all need things at different times the day! When Danielle's asleep, Mark wakes up and he wakes up Danielle and then she yells and Ron Jr. wakes up, and…and…"

"Whoa, Princess…. You need a break. What about a babysitter?"

"The only ones who will do it now are Marine Force Recon, SEALS and SAS soldiers who want a challenge…and I can't get them all the time, and do you _know_ what a company of soldiers does to your food budget?" She shuddered. "Ron loves them, I love them…but…but…"

"Maybe… here." Shego said, "Take a drink" offering a flask that rode…well nobody was quite certain _where_ it rode on her skin tight suit. Kim grabbed it with trembling hands and drained it in one gulp."

_I shouldn't._

_I'm Evil._

_And this may destroy the world…_ Shego grinned, at that last thought.

"Kimmie." She said as Kim seemed to calm down after drinking the Vodka and Whiskey combo that was the only thing that kept her sane through Kareoke night. "I think I can solve your problem…"

* * *

Kim snuggled with Ron. Now the house was quiet. So wonderfully quiet.

"KS" Ron said, "Where did you find the babysitter?"

"Oh, she's highly recommended." Kim said. Part of her wondered why Shego had done them such a favor…but…but if she asked, Shego might get angry, and stop babysitting… Kim felt the eye twitch come back. She loved her children, but right now was the longest she'd gone in weeks without a disaster…. It was amazing—in all her years of saving the world she'd never guessed that being a housewife would be the most difficult—or her little encounter (or excuse to get out of the house) with Shego would solve her problem.

"And in any case, Mr. Stoppable…now that we're _certain_ we're safe." Kim giggled. Let Bonnie joke about her getting spayed. Bonnie only had two kids, and it was the only way to be _sure_. "Shall we have some…fun?"

"Boo-yah!"

* * *

"Now the first step to building a doombot is" Drakken was interrupted.

"Can it be pink?" Six year old Danielle said.

"No, doombots are blue!" Her sister said, "That's because they're depressed or they wouldn't be doombots!"

"No way!"

"Yes!" A whistle cut through the room, as Shego looked at them.

"What did we say about arguing?"

"Sorry."

"Besides, you can make your doombot any color you want."

"YAY!" Drakken winced at that, looking at the three six year olds already nearly to the point of building their own doombots, the four year olds practicing thieving skills and the two year olds… well napping. When Shego had suggesting taking a babysitting job to pay the bills _and_ raise the next generation of villainy, he had been skeptical…but now…

Well given that the two year olds were napping _after_ assembling a Pan-dimensional Vortex cannon from tinker toys, he was a little terrified…but on the other hand, he had to admit they were _very_ smart. Just what he would expect from a Possible.

"So, Shego." Drakken asked as the kids started working on the doombots. "What will Kim do when she finds out what we're doing."

"Nothing."

"_Nothing?"_

"Nothing." Shego said, smiling. "Trust me, Drew…I remember mom, and she only had five kids and if we'd been around then, she would have overlooked a _lot_ worse than training her kids to be the next generation's world dominating villains, in exchange for giving her a quiet night with dad."

* * *

_The ever loving end._

_Author's note: I've had a great deal of well...rather severe family emergencies in the past, which make it a bit more difficult to write fantasy angst-- so trying to get back into it, I provide you with a nice, light, story. _


End file.
